The Cardinals are a band focused on music and are based on the planet Earth, a satellite of Sol or "The Sun" the center of the galaxy. They rely heavily on naps, food, metal, reggae mixes and comps scored from Kim's Video right when they are closing to make this one guy even more mad at people who don't know as much as he knows about music and movies, and are guided by the rainbows and fairy tales Robie tells us at night when we are being rocked softly to sleep to the sounds of his magic harp made of candy and strung with the hair of unicorns.
We also rock and will make you cry and want to $%&*. Sometimes even #$%^metal or large stone objects like pyramids or goblets of fire. Whatever.
a brief summary of Cardinal-speak.
1. HalloweenHead.
A fan of The Cardinals music. stoner. outcast. someone who doesn't know what kind of mood they are in. Not sponsored by Bud Lite or collecting girls or guys numbers during a quiet breakdown. usually are laid back and engage in mellow conversation with band members when seen in arcades or getting food. Don't ask for #$%^ when people are eating. not gravity challenged but reality challenged. also known as Bed-Heads, or Chandler Bings.
2. Rubberneckers.
Loud #$%holes. People in restrooms who ask you to sign a ticket in Arby's when you are taking a leak. Usually wearing ball caps and or would like you to get drunk with them immediately in their truck. (Identifiable trait......approaches band member and asks, "when is the next Whiskeytown record coming out?" or "I like your last record "Gold""
3. Eggs.
Smart girls. Or cabbage. Or "The Goods"
4. Egyptology.
Any Riff beginning and ending in the D-Scale which can be morphed into one of 50 or so songs in this scale.
5. Bruce Wayne.
A Heavy Spin Out. Not a "Jam" A "Freak"
6. A Freak.
A spin-out
7. Heavy Strange.
Like Space, made popular by the grateful dead by if played by Black Sabbath, if Black Sabbath just spun out and were all Hallowenheaded.
8. Ming Dynasty.
When the $%^& hits the fan, not the fans.
9. A Knoxer.
Bad gig, seated area wise, not stage area wise.
10. The Plateau-
Good gig. Stage Wise, audience wise not factoring
11. Facemelt.
Gig that starts and ends Plateau.
12. Ryder.
Class gig start to end. audience and band. (no relation to Easy Ryder the movie or Ryder trucks)
13. Boxing Match
Tough gig that ends good.
14. Burger King
Horrible American over processed food that is consistent enough to keep singers from sickness with the help of orange juice and lots of vitamins (not recommended but it keeps it real, also does not cause flub, not when yr shredded from three night (or ten straight on the plateau)
15. Sausage.
Meat brains, violent dudes.
16. "Got Shined by the Twins"
Means got stared down by the greasies after the gig thinking Motley Crue stuff was possible with band (not possible)
17. Googled Messed with.
18. Old Kids.
dudes with the green hats that think the harmonica is going to come out (its not)
19. Missing in Action.
bad amps
20. Deffers.
HalloweenHeads who cant get enough of the amp section (gotta love 'em) they say "what? A lot) I say that a lot too.
21. Spacewolf.
Chris
22. Slyder.
Jon (AKA Flameout, or The Wanderer
23. B or TN-T
Monster that is Brad
24. MCNC
Neal
25. Mouth
Reg
................I made most of this up so some of it is accurate and some of it is subject to change. as soon as it changes it reverts back to the way you don't know from before which is what.
And remember, the don't call us , "The Good Old Always Quiet Stick To The Set No Lasers Or Egg Talk Not Too Many Songs Focused On The Safe Always Sunny Good Ole Safecracking Skydiving Number One Middle Name Cardinals" for Nothing.
